Dear Summer || Four AM

Pictures by J Roy 

Words by Rupsha B Roy 

Edited by Namzzz

 4:08 AM on a Sunday morning and I am lying on the floor of this hotel balcony. I woke up an hour ago and knew very well that I won't be going back to sleep, so instead I just lay here trying to watch the first glimmer of sunrise.  I turn my head - a maroon 5 mix-tape on my phone, a notebook, blotches of blue ink, scattered thoughts.

"Beauty queen of only eighteen she had some trouble with herself 

He was always there to help her, she always belonged to someone else"

Earlier that evening, as the car zoomed down the roads, as the alcohol made it's way to my blood and the city lights whittled into a pattern, somehow made up in my dreams. I desperately tried to make sense of things, of tranquil minds, of love songs, of letting go. The text message for Namz on my phone read, "I was careful all my life, not to trip along the edge. What a capricious heart I've got inside. What an unfaithful mind." She's probably busy, I thought, my fingers hovering over the send button. I ended up deleting it, I would go back to my hotel room and text her anyway. The car filled up with the sound of laughter and my friends sang along to the song on the radio.

"Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile"

I sit up on this hotel balcony floor, put the songs on repeat. There's a huge tree just outside and I watch a pandemonium of parrots fly across the daylight sky; something truly magical about sunrises.